A Ton of Bricks

Today the weather here in Virginia is absolutely gorgeous! It has taken spring a little bit to catch up with the rest of us but I think she has finally arrived and our family couldn't be happier. Sitting here at my computer I am so beyond thankful for what God has done for my family. Could we have less bills, of course! Could we not argue every so often, most definitely but you know what, none of that matters at the end of the day.

Life happens, we may step in dog pee first thing out of bed or stub our toe on the way to waking our kids up to get ready for school, but the question is, how will that affect us? Does that mean that our automatic response to a grouchy kid not wanting to get up is to yell or get angry? Or do we respond in love and patience. To be honest that's how my morning began - too many snooze button pushes after going to bed waayyy to late and then it seemed to get worse from there. I was already angry before I even got to my daughters bedroom. I knew it wasn't going to be a good response but instead of calming myself and beginning my day praying, I just stormed through the door, threw the covers off and demanded her to get out of bed before I hit the number three. As I sit here and type this out I see how freaking ridiculous I must have looked and sounded. Last night didn't have bath time planned in so guess what, she had to shower. Oh that's a bundle of fun right there. Once she got in the shower, crying of course, I stormed into bedroom number two to wake my son. Throwing the covers back again I angrily asked him to get out of bed by the count of three. I guess he is used to it because his feet always seem to hit the ground just as I am about the say the last number. Then off to the shower he went. He is a bit easier to work with since he can pretty much handle everything it takes to get him clean and dressed.

Now today was especially awesome because since the last snooze button made them miss the bus that meant I had to drive them to school. Now I had to wake the third monster. Lord help me. She is a sleeper so as I storm back into bedroom number one she is curled up, completely covered from head to toe with her comforter. She knew I was coming. Third time throwing the covers back and third time having to count to three. By this point you can imagine my patience - non existent!

I nicely forcefully laid her clothes out on the bed for her to get dressed but not before I made a threat that I knew I would never carry out. At this point my middle was coming out of the shower, still crying mind you and ready to get dressed. Something went my way this morning because she actually liked the outfit I had ironed for her the night before. Thank you Jesus! So after she was dressed and ready and my son was done I realized I totally forgot to make lunches. Great! Just Great! That's exactly what went through my mind. I can honestly say I have no idea what made it into the their lunch boxes this morning. Mom of the year right here!

On the way to school the entire car was silent even down to the puppy, he must have felt the tension in the air. As we pull up to school we said our goodbyes after I again lost my patience with how slow they were to get out of the car and the line that was building behind me.

Once they got out of the car and walked into school, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am a monster. I let my own laziness of wanting to get a few extra minutes of sleep, to stepping into dog pee, to stubbing my toe turn into their fault. What is wrong with me? And I can tell you 9 times out of 10 our mornings begin like that. Maybe not to the point of missing the bus but to where their mommy, ME, acts like the world is ending.

As I drove away in tears I asked God to let my kids have a great day and to not think of me as the mean mommy. I felt God's presence this morning in my car. I felt him touch my shoulder and tell me that it was okay. We all fall short, we all mess up daily but as soon as they get home they will walk in the door with smiles on their faces and loving me just as much as they did before.

I'm not really sure why I shared that this morning but something said to. Please tell me I am not alone in being absolutely crazy sometimes. Please tell me that other moms and/or dads lose it occasionally.

I have learned that when I try to do this thing without Him, that's when all hell breaks lose. Tomorrow is a new day. I promise to myself and my babies that our mornings will be better. I can't promise that every thing will always run smoothly but I make a vow that my reactions will begin to change. That I will take a deep breathe, ask God to help me and step into the situation better prepared.  I hope someone gets something from this this morning. We aren't perfect, far from it but we have a God who most certainly is and all He is asking is for us to call out to Him. He is there waiting for us to ask Him to come into our day.