Move With Me

Have you ever been in prayer with God and you just completely break down! Yep that was me this morning. I have been dealing lately with a few things that is between myself and God but this mornings prayer was different. He showed me things I was dealing with that I had no clue were there. And I know those things were holding me back from what He wanted to do in me. It held me back from true worship. It held me back from fully having complete faith in Him.

He is amazing like that. As I was praying the words that were coming out were new to me. I was like who am I praying for that is feeling that....oh wait....that's me! Tears began to stream down my face when I came to the realization that it was me that was harboring those feelings.

Bitterness. Resentment. Unforgiving.

Really? Me? Were those things really so deep inside of me that I didn't even realize that they were just in there hanging out. Well after this mornings devotion and when I began to pray, God brought all those things to the surface. Basically telling me that if they do not leave, the blessings and levels He wants to take me will be at a standstill.

I laid it all out this morning. Covering my Bible with tears, I asked for forgiveness. I asked for all those feelings to leave. I asked for a renewed heart. I asked to be clean of those feelings. I asked for His joy to return to me and guess what - in that moment it felt like a ton bricks were lifted off my shoulders. I began to laugh! I began to literally laugh and raise my hands in the midst of my prayer. I knew that He was healing me of those things that I had just asked for!

Guys! We are all human and if you get to the point where you think you are holier than thou and think you don't deal with those things - that's a dangerous place to be. We all deal with emotions on a daily basis but it is when we let them fester day after day, that they turn into a lifestyle, a norm for us. We have to learn that when those feels arise, we rebuke them right on the spot. Don't let them build up! They will steal your joy and that's what the enemy wants. He wants us to be filled with hate, resentment, bitterness - because he knows what it is keeping us from.

So today loves I ask this, is there anything that is holding you back from what God wants to do in you and through you? Be honest with yourself this morning and really dig deep. I had to dig deep this morning to see what I was keeping inside of me. It affected my daily walk and I didn't even know it.

Ask God to free you and He will, if it comes from a place of true meaning. You have to mean it with all your heart or they are just words coming out of your mouth. They have to come out of your heart. God knows you better than you know yourself. Remember what I said last week...

Sometimes we have to speak things for us to even know that we are dealing with them! Speak it loves! God knows but He just wants to hear you say it. Then it will be released!

As I am ending this blog post for today I feel more free than I have in a few months. I just needed to speak it. I didn't even know those feelings were there but they came out with a vengeance. I am ready to move to the next level with God. Move with me loves!

Mother's Day Tea

Today was such a good day! Its the little things that remind us to be thankful for where God has brought us and what He has given us. 

Today was Emma's class Mother's Day Tea. At first when the flier came home a week ago I begrudlingly said that I would go. I am not your normal PTA mom, its just not me and sometimes since I have three children its hard to go to every single thing. Well Emma's teacher this year insisted that all moms be there, so I went.

....and it was the best decision ever. 

First it started with the moms waiting in the hallway filled with portraits the kids drew of us. We had to guess which one was us. It was so much fun standing there with a bunch of ladies I didn't know guessing which beautifully drawn portrait was ours. Next each student came out to get their mom with a pink rose in hand and they escorted us one at a time to our seat. The room was filled with candles and flowers. Let me just tell you that I cried as soon as I saw my little Emma Grace walk out the door to greet me. 

Once we all sat down the kids sang a few songs and then wrote a few things about us.

Here was Emma's

My mom's names is MORGAN 

She is 34 YEARS OLD

Her favorite food is SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS

Her favorite TV show is ELLEN

What makes my mom special is SHE HAS A HEART OF GOLD

What?! Did my little miss Emma just say her mom has a heart of gold? She likes me, she really really likes me! And then....TEARS...........all over the place! I was a snotty, teary mess! I am happy to say I am not the only one that cried - thank the Lord! 

After that we had light refreshments. It was the perfect way to spend my morning. I am so happy that her teacher insisted that we come. If she hadn't I probably would have blown it off to run errands. I know, I know - mom of the year once again! 

5 stars to Emma's teacher for putting on the best Mother's Day Tea ever! It will be something that I will never forget! 

We Are Human

My devotion today brought up something from my past. I think sometimes we get so caught up in would haves, could haves and should haves. Its time to break lose of that mentality.

About a year ago I was hurt. I mean deeply hurt by someone that I trusted and when I say trusted, I mean seriously trusted with my life. But something happened and honestly to this day I have no idea what that something was that caused this person to just up and leave, pretty much without an ounce of an explanation.

It hurt bad. I was so angry and upset with this person that it caused me to become bitter. Its crazy when you are that close to someone and then they just up and leave, I actually felt like I went through  a grieving process. I was an emotional wreck for months. I was down and just out of it. I cried out to God, I was angry at Him for letting this happen. I was so upset and confused.

And you know what, He stood by me and let me throw my tantrum but guess what? He was right there when I was done acting like a child. He knew the reason this happened, He knew why He took that person out of my life. I remember standing in my bathroom one day and it hit me, as I fell to my knees and tears starting falling, I apologized and repented for the way I had acted. For blaming Him for all of it. For being angry at Him. For becoming bitter towards that person. I asked for forgiveness and like always He was there with arms open wide.

I just wanted to share that today because I honestly feel like someone that may read this needs to hear it. We are human, we get caught up in emotions and we can let them run us. But that doesn't mean we are forever ruined. We have a God that loves us and He knows us better than we know ourselves. Even if we do not speak it, He knows. I can honestly say from experience - SPEAK IT! When you speak it, it brings healing. It brings it to the surface and you can out loud repent for what you are feeling. God already knows but when we recognize it, that's when true healing comes.

We need Him loves. In every aspect of our lives, we need Him. If you are dealing with something that is causing anger, bitterness or hate - call out to Him. He is just waiting for you!

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (Ps. 62:8)